advice — Blog — Trystan Reese

Acts of Solidarity: love languages, reimagined

I first heard about the Five Love Languages at a “Healthy Relationships” workshop at a trans leadership training in Los Angeles—and my mind was blown. It was 2013, Biff and I had been dating for two years, and I didn’t feel like he really cared about me because he never held my hand or kissed me in public. He never really told me he loved me in a way that felt specific or certain. Whenever I brought this up, he would always respond that he kept our house clean, cooked food for us every night, and let me sleep in on the weekends. Wasn’t that proof enough of his love?

ParenthoodTrystan ReeseSeptember 27, 2019advice, parenting, Opinions

Stop Trying To "Get It Right": Cultivating humility as you become a trans ally

I train hundreds of people every year, covering many aspects of competency around transgender issues. I teach people how to use gender-neutral pronouns, how to make it right when they’ve made a mistake, how to create bias-free classrooms… and more. But one of the most common and hard to answer questions I get is this: How do I say the right thing all the time?

AllyshipTrystan ReeseSeptember 3, 2019advice, diversity

Beat back bullies with Respondology!

If you plan to take any public stance on social justice issues, trolls WILL find you. Their racist, homophobic, transphobic, sexist diatribes will leak out all over your page. And when you leave them up, you are making the internet a more toxic place for people like me (and people like you!) who have to read it. I implore you— use a service to help clear your channels of these toxic messages.

Life Adventures, Sponsored, AllyshipTrystan ReeseJuly 7, 2019advice, diversity, Opinions, youtube, trauma

#OnOurSleeves: Celebrating Mental Health Awareness Month!

Riley has always had to work hard to focus on what was happening in front of him, and has often struggled to stay in a positive mindset. When he was seven, we had him assessed so we would have a better sense of what he might need from us in terms of supports. I thought I was ready for whatever might come up during those assessments, but when the pediatric psychologist gently told us that Riley met all the criteria for ADHD, I was shocked. How had I missed this? Was he going to need medication? Do we really know the long-term effects of that medication on tiny bodies? Weren’t there other options for treating it?

Parenthood, SponsoredTrystan ReeseMay 3, 2019advice, parenting, sponsored, Opinions

Nosy Nellies: How to endure unsolicited pregnancy/parenting advice

When you’re pregnant (and even after you give birth), everyone has opinions for you. And for some reason, most of these advice-givers don’t seem able to simply share what worked for them... instead, they all seem convinced that their way is The Right Way and all other ways will inevitably lead to Doom and Gloom for you, your partner (if you have one), and your baby.

This turns out to be true whether you’re transgender or not, so I thought I’d share my tips for surviving Nagging Nancies during pregnancy and early parenthood.

ParenthoodTrystan ReeseApril 11, 2019Parenting Styles, parenting, pregnancy, advice