Opinions — Blog — Trystan Reese

Acts of Solidarity: love languages, reimagined

I first heard about the Five Love Languages at a “Healthy Relationships” workshop at a trans leadership training in Los Angeles—and my mind was blown. It was 2013, Biff and I had been dating for two years, and I didn’t feel like he really cared about me because he never held my hand or kissed me in public. He never really told me he loved me in a way that felt specific or certain. Whenever I brought this up, he would always respond that he kept our house clean, cooked food for us every night, and let me sleep in on the weekends. Wasn’t that proof enough of his love?

ParenthoodTrystan ReeseSeptember 27, 2019advice, parenting, Opinions

Beat back bullies with Respondology!

If you plan to take any public stance on social justice issues, trolls WILL find you. Their racist, homophobic, transphobic, sexist diatribes will leak out all over your page. And when you leave them up, you are making the internet a more toxic place for people like me (and people like you!) who have to read it. I implore you— use a service to help clear your channels of these toxic messages.

Life Adventures, Sponsored, AllyshipTrystan ReeseJuly 7, 2019advice, diversity, Opinions, youtube, trauma

#OnOurSleeves: Celebrating Mental Health Awareness Month!

Riley has always had to work hard to focus on what was happening in front of him, and has often struggled to stay in a positive mindset. When he was seven, we had him assessed so we would have a better sense of what he might need from us in terms of supports. I thought I was ready for whatever might come up during those assessments, but when the pediatric psychologist gently told us that Riley met all the criteria for ADHD, I was shocked. How had I missed this? Was he going to need medication? Do we really know the long-term effects of that medication on tiny bodies? Weren’t there other options for treating it?

Parenthood, SponsoredTrystan ReeseMay 3, 2019advice, parenting, sponsored, Opinions

"Is that a boy or a girl?" Gender and Parenting, part 2

“Why did you decide to gender your baby at birth?”

Every once in awhile, a stranger (usually online) will ask us this question.

In most cases, it’s intended as a “gotcha.” People who don’t want the best for us will ask it in jest, attempting to poke holes in our argument that perhaps gender is less rigid and fixed than we’ve been led to believe. Other times it’s asked by a trans or non-binary person who imagines that we are upholding the gender binary by assuming what gender our baby is.

It is rarely asked with good intention, but for the sake of this blog post… let’s assume it IS being asked that way (and then I’ll discuss why the first two ways of asking it are harmful).

I guess I have to explain my beliefs on gender to begin with.

ParenthoodTrystan ReeseJanuary 30, 2019Parenting Styles, parenting, Opinions

And then... I had Kids.

Parenting is hard. It involves managing so many priorities and the stakes are high. One of the more annoying parts about parenting is the culture around it. Everyone thinks THEY know what YOU should do with your child. It tends to include an endless barrage of blog posts, articles, books, even full movements... all centered around the idea that parenting is some static practice that should function in the same way, regardless of the parent or child.

ParenthoodGuest UserMay 10, 2016Biff, Parenting Styles, OpinionsComment