I’ve taken an unconventional path to become the man i am today. And an unconventional path means a different kind of biography.
join me on the journey.
Coming Out
Coming out— as queer, as trans— has been (for me) an ongoing, life-long experience. When I was 15 years old, I told my mother I was bi. Later, around age 20, I came out as transgender. Eventually, I came out as a gay, transgender man (those are the words I’ve stuck with).
Here’s a little clip of me talking about coming out for DotGay, as part of their launch campaign.
Developing an Identity
I quickly learned that it was going to take a while for my family to become my FAMILY again. They were going to have to adjust to having a son instead of a daughter, a brother instead of a sister. So I committed myself to building a chosen family (and community) to get me through. Theatre re-emerged as an important part of my life, and I ended up starring in the Los Angeles premier of “Hedwig and the Angry Inch” before attending performing arts school
Here’s a keynote I gave for Out & Equal’s Global Workplace Summit, in which I talk about the importance of chosen family (and rock operas).
Finding My Voice
I left the theatre in pursuit of a more direct way to create and inspire social change, landing at the National LGBTQ Task Force where I spent seven years traveling the country teaching grassroots organizing to communities facing attacks at the ballot box. Through this work, I became adept at telling complicated stories with grace and ease as I went door-to-door as part of the LGBTQ movement’s first real foray into changing hearts and minds one person at a time. Along with my colleagues, I talked to hundreds of conflicted or outright homophobic voters, listening to their stories and sharing my own.
This work is now considered the gold standard of cultural and political persuasion; here’s a keynote I gave for World Domination Summit in which I explain how exactly you change someone’s mind (in a way that makes them feel like it was their idea).
Creating a Platform
When my partner and I became parents (overnight) to our niece and nephew, I wanted to find a way to tell our story— our uniquely queer story of hope when there’s hardship— to anyone who might benefit from it. I had seen firsthand how powerful stories could be, had witnessed the seismic shift that my own story could make in the lives of voters I spoke with during political campaigns. I analyzed the media landscape and decided to partner with the beloved parenting podcast The Longest Shortest Time. They told our adoption story over several episodes, one of which won a Best Documentary award at the Third Coast/Richard H. Driehaus Foundation Award celebrating the best in audio storytelling.
Building a Movement
When we decided to grow our family by having a biological child, my trans pregnancy became a unique opportunity to educate millions of people on family and love and community possibilities for LGBTQ folks. By partnering with reputable media outlets that were willing to tell the story with care and compassion, we were invited into homes across the globe. From news sites like CNN and NBC to TV shows like Good Morning UK and CBS This Morning, we were able to share our story in our words.
I partnered with GLAAD’s Trans Messaging Director throughout the entire process to ensure that my interviews would have the biggest positive impact possible while avoiding common myths and misconceptions about trans folks along the way.